| | |
 | A touching greeting from Toon Ted....
A touching greeting card containing the verse:
You know yer getting older when yer strides are getting' tight,
Just doing the buttons up is becoming a major fight,
The mirra' doesn't lie, it's not in your head,
It's hard to admit to, that middle-aged spread.
So gan canny on the calories,
but give yourself a treat,
have a pint and a curry and have a
rip-roaring good neet!
To view a full image of the card front please click on the product image.
Price: £2.00 / €2.86
|
| |
|
When the Queen visited the RVI
When the Queen visited the RVI card containing the verse:
When the Queen visited the RVI
She asks the man in the 1st bed:
"Young man, what's wrong with you - what treatment are you receiving and what's your main ambition?"
1st man: "Well, your majesty, I have a severe dose of VD. I get 5 minutes with a wire brush every day and hope to be back to work in 6 weeks".
She repeats the question to the man in the 2nd bed.
He replies: "Well ma'am, I have severe piles. I have 5 minutes with the wire brush and I hope to be back to work in a month".
Again, she repeats the question to Toon Ted......
Well, pet. I've got gum disease and my main ambition is to get to the wire brush before the other two!!
To view a full image of the card front cover please click on the product image.
Price: £2.00 / €2.86
|  |
| |
|
 | Ganning to see the match.....
Desperate to see the match card containing the verse:
Desperate to see the match.....
Geordie was so skint he said he'd shoot someone to get in.....
EVEN HIMSELF
To view a image of the card insert please click on the product image.
Price: £2.00 / €2.86
|
| |
|
Toon Ted's Apprenticeship
Toon Ted's apprenticeship card containing the verse:
Toon Ted's apprenticeship with the local brewery was going well!
It's the weekend and you can let yer hair doon
Divvent think twice, get off doon the toon,
Plenty of people havin' a really good time
bottles of broon and lager n' lime,
The Posh Quayside with its lovely night lights,
Lads and lasses pairing off for the night
And if you don't score and you're down on yer luck,
Don't tell the Toon Ted cos' he doesn't give a damn.
To view an image of the full card front please click on the product image.
Price: £2.00 / €2.86
|  |
| |
|
 | Toon Ted's court appearance
Toon Ted's court appearance card containing the verse:
Judge: "Toon Ted as a result of this divorce settlement.....
...... I'm awarding your wife £100 a week".
Toon Ted: "That's very kind of you your honour.
I'll try and chuck a few quid in myself!!"
Happy Birthda' Kidda
To view an image of the full front cover of the card please click on the product image.
Price: £2.00 / €2.86
|
| |
|
Toon Ted's Birthda'
Toon Ted's Birthda' card containing the verse:
On His Birthday
Toon Ted finally worked out what he wanted to be in life.....
NAKED AND DRUNK
To view an image of the full card front please click on the product image.
Price: £2.00 / €2.86
|  |
| |
|
 | Toon Ted's business plans...
Toon Ted's business plans card containing the verse:
Being a modern day entrepreneur, Toon Ted decided to take full advantage of the property boom......
But the council may have something to say about it!
To view an image of the card insert please click on the product image.
Price: £2.00 / €2.86
|
| |
|
Before Passing Out.......
Before passing out card containing the verse:
Before passing out......
Toon Ted wondered who the Angel was based on!
Step into the world of the Geordie Nation,
It's God's allotment - his finest creation.
Yes, this land of ours, has some wonderful places
from the Angel of the North to the Blaydon Races.
So, let's make this a celebration,
Please raise your glasses to the Geordie Nation.
To view an image of the full card front cover please click on the product image.
Price: £2.00 / €2.86
|  |
| |